Changes....

Before discovering I was robbed this morning, I was reflecting on a potential blog topic about things that I´ve noticed have changed with me since coming to Panama - most of them for the better.

Changes to Lisa:
1. I eat, and actually enjoy now, a lot of white rice.

2. I am a lot more patient. I can think of a lot of examples, but lets just say that most involve children, culture shock or a candy bar.

3. I´m a lot more comfortable being alone with myself. At the beginning, I think I had too much time to think. Now, it´s not so bad. I´m pretty cool. *giggle* Although, I do realize that I need to learn how to quiet my mind.

4. I´m also a lot more comfortable being around Ben 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Which makes number 3 seem totally ironic. Let´s just say that going from our life in the states to being around each other constantly was a struggle at first.

5. I get a lot more male attention in this country. It makes me angry when I´m hissed at, called ¨joven,¨ my queen, baby, etc. I didn´t know this about myself before.

6. I don´t miss food much anymore. Along that line, I´ve had a lot of time to think about my food issues and wrestle with some demons.

7. I can speak Spanish! And a tiny bit of Ngöbere. That´s pretty cool.

8. Although I still really like having stuff to do, I am now fine with dedicating a day to a good book in the hammock.

9. I´m a lot more social in a community sense than I ever was or wanted to be in the states.

10. I feel a lot more appreciative of just about everything. It´s really easy to take so much for granted.


Now, how about some things that I miss... (and I think that it goes without saying that I miss family, friends, and Nikodemus ♥ )

1. Carpet. This may seem odd, but when I think of home, it´s one of the first things that comes to mind. I want to squish my toes in carpet. This is probably because my floor now best resembles a litter box.

2. Being able to follow just about any conversation. I can speak Spanish, but it´s not perfect by any means. I have to still piece things together at times, and if you throw in a conversation in Ngöbere, I just try to catch a verb here or there and laugh when appropriate.

3. Cold. Winter. Snow. Bundling up in lots of clothes.

4. An indoor toilet. Hell, a toilet for that matter. I´d still go outside for it if it flushed away the shit.

5. A dryer. Maybe this should be number 1. Clothes don´t dry here. Everything we have is at varying levels of moldiness.

6. A washer. Washing clothes in the campo sucks. I´m convinced nothing is ever really clean. Stupid mold.

7. Dryness (is that a word?).

8. Nice clothes. Dressing up. I think this experience is making the girly girl in me scream to come out. Oh how I used to hate dressing up for work. Now I´m a perpetual scrub. And now, a perpetually muddy scrub. Lets throw in cute shoes too. Although, I do love my rubber boots.

9. Good mexican food. Yeah, food was bound to show up somewhere.

10. A reliable power source. Charging my phone over the past two weeks has been ridiculously difficult.

Okay, one more. A bug-free environment. I´ll take those whimpy spiders and tiny crickets in Colorado again anyday. I killed the largest spider I´ve ever seen in my life the other night. While I do realize that I feel more like a badass for that, I´d just rather not have to do it!

This is turning out to be harder than thought. I guess the bottom line is that while I do miss things from home, I´m happy to be here, and I´ll have those things I miss again in the future. And if most of my personal changes end up being good ones, then I´m all the better for being here, and doing something I love.